Tough Week

As you can imagine, going blind is a frustrating experience and this has been a tough week because the distortion in my eye (I can only see out of my right eye.) is slowly but surely getting worse. I used to wonder what was more difficult, going blind all at once or slowly. To some, this may seem like a strange statement. But my visual distortion is a constant reminder that my eyesight is diminishing and there have been times I wanted to just get it over with. I prefer to take my pain quickly rather than have it dragged out. But my vision loss does not only affect me, it impacts my family as well. However, I have concluded that it is better to go blind slowly rather than all at once. The slow deterioration gives me more time to develop necessary skills that will enable me to function as I want. Specifically, braille and my computer screen-reading software, JAWS. (Job Access With Speech) On Monday I will see my eye doctor for the first time since he told me there was nothing to be done to prevent my vision from diminishing. But I do not need him to tell me it is getting worse, that is obvious to me.

A Bit of Humor

First, the bad jokes.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? (If you don't know who Helen Keller is, skip to the next joke.)
Because she is a woman.

Why did the orange go blind?
Because it didn't have enough vitamin see.

Last week I woke up late for class and Teri offered to drive me to school so I hurriedly got ready . She drops me off and I almost ran to class. (Imagine you are on the campus of University of Central Oklahoma and you see this blind guy rushing past you as he taps his cane back and forth!) I get to the building, go up the stairs and discover that the students are just then entering the room. As I enter the room, I place my cane in the corner by the door, walk to a desk, sit down and begin to prepare for the lecture. And then I notice the professor is a lot younger. I muse to myself "Perhaps he is a substitute". Then he asks me if I was a new student in the class. I was in the wrong classroom! My embarrassment was tempered with the knowledge that the students would see me retreiv my cane as I left and would think "That poor blind guy entered the wrong class." In my career as a college student, I had never before gone to the wrong classroom. Three days later I get to class early, take my seat and then leave for the men's room. I return to the class and again place my cane in the corner as I entered. But someone was sitting in my seat. Unfortunately it was not my seat because I had once again entered the wrong classroom. It was the same class that I had accidentally entered a few days earlier. I couldn't help notice the snickering as I once again retrieved my cane and made a hasty exit from the classroom.

Someone Please Knock Me Out!

The last couple of weeks have been challenging. As you know, my eyesight is not that great. What you don’t know is it is affecting my ability to sleep. In fact, I have gone days when I averaged three hours of sleep per day, sometimes less. Teri (my wife) did some research and discovered that blindness can mess up a person’s sleep cycles. As I told Teri, I can handle going blind but the sleep depravation is killing me. But what do you do when life gives you a lemon? You make lemonade. (Please, no more lemonade.) Sometimes I will sit on my couch at 2:00 am and practice my braille. In fact, I have been able to practice my braille so much lately that I might be able to finish Grade 1 braille in less than two weeks. I can only practice Braille for about two hours at a time. After that, I am unable to concentrate effectively. The down side to the lack of sleep is it is affecting my schooling. By the way, since my last posting, I have returned to school so I can finish my prerequisites for my Masters in History.